Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Authoritarians

We often hear of gay men supporting the GOP plan to strip homosexuals of legal protections, of preachers and Republican congressmen cheating on their wives, of right-wing moralizers dropping tens of thousands a night at the casino, of fake White House reporters who double as gay escorts... the list goes on.

All this leads me to suspect that many of the authoritarians who are up in arms over homosexuality, porn, and gambling are deeply conflicted. I theorize that they want oppressive laws against these things either 1) to deprive themselves of the opportunity for indulging, or 2) to punish themselves for indulging.

You know what I mean. The guy says "it's not my fault that I cheated on you, Honey, it's the fault of the police for letting young girls wear low-cut jeans. Damn liberals!"

Or maybe he's thinking, "if I hadn't known that guy was gay, I would never have ended up in bed with him. Those gay guys are threatening my family life by turning me gay!"

Or maybe, "I tried to fight porn in the legislature, but, because of all those liberals, I couldn't stop myself ordering a copy of 'Asian Sexaholics'. We need stronger laws and longer prison terms to stop me from ordering this stuff!"

Last night's Daily Show featured a story about a NASCAR fan (see Gays of Thunder) who lamented the "gayification" (as Samantha Bee put it) of the sport. Apparently, one driver has Fructis hair care products as a sponsor. The troubled fan described NASCAR as standing for good, clean America, implying by his complaint that gays aren't good, clean or American. Viewers can see the irony coming a mile away. The NASCAR fan is totally gay. Actually, he says he's converted to heterosexuality. Yeah right.

The next time you meet a right-winger demanding Iran-style government action against harmless vices, calmly suggest he or she go for counseling.

4 comments:

Peg said...

Reminds me of a lady I had for a boss when I was a youngin'!! She always spouted about if there was one type of person she hated, it was someone who was a cheat and a liar!!
Yep, you guessed it! She lied to everybody and that includes customers and she cheated everytime she could and that included me and my social security payments to the government! Then threatened to "black ball" me in the particular city/state I worked with her in, if I so much as breathed this knowledge about her and her unethical accountant!! Now, there is one boss you just got to adore!! ;-0}

John DelHousaye said...

I (and more importantly) Jesus agree with you. See his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7).

Anonymous said...

So by your logic, Dr. Logic, anyone who suggests anything about anyone else is projecting their own reality on them, yes? If I am against gay people, then I must be a closet homosexual. If I am against dishonesty, I must liar. If I am against robbery, I must be a thief. Is that not the basic thrust of your argument?

Am I to assume, then, that since you are suggesting that those whom you label as "right-wing moralizers" seek counseling, that you are actually the one needing some serious couch time? Just wondering how that logic really works, Dr. Logic.

Doctor Logic said...

a) Dishonesty and robbery are not harmless vices.

b) This post is about those who want to enshrine their own personal and arbitrary morality in criminal law.

So it would seem that you did not really understand my post at all.